Racism and Stereotype

Exams are over & I am free as a bird!

Not really, still have work at USS and NTU Contemp Black Box Series under Kay. Can't wait to dance under Kay.

So what's uni life having completed the first semester?

Ngeh.

It's okay.. Whenever people ask me what I study (which has been very often in the past few days at work), their reaction when they I tell them "Lit" is mostly the same. But behind that wide-eyed face it could be either amazement or admiration - at taking something so impractical. Haha. But hey, I pretty much like what I'm studying (except American Lit, oh gosh). 

So the first sem has been pretty smooth. Assignments have been manageable and lectures have been enjoyable. Learnt to navigate myself around school and move to places other than HSS (my school). Kudos to the forever lost me. In fact, I am SLIGHTLY looking forward to taking up new courses. Just slightly.

What I'm really looking forward to is Christmas and my Penang trip!!

And Siren dinner next week. 

P.S. I'm typing this post on my one day old MacBook Air 13". So happy :) 

Materialism just gets the best of us, doesn't it?

Yes so now that I'm done updating you, dear reader, about my life, I'd like to move on to another happening. It's fricking pissing.

My Ballet teacher who has been teaching at an all girls' Primary School X for over 10 years just lost her job there because of a totally unreasonable and absurd occurrence. One day, she had her elder student, Miss Y, substitute for her School X Ballet class. While she was teaching, a Ballet student got hurt outside the class for some reason. Miss Y went out to check on the girl, brought her to the general office and resumed the class. The general office lady asked the girl to call her mother. 

The mother of the girl was appalled when she heard her injured daughter's voice on the phone because she would expect the school to call her instead. Next she became angry at Miss Y for not attending fully to her daughter's injury. The principal was brought in and this thing was blown up and my Ballet teacher (who was not even there) lost her job. 

10 over years of hard work, good relations and generations of Ballet students - poof!

I was so angry when I heard this story! And you'd be shocked to know, the girl's parents are lawyers. Representatives of Singapore's law and righteous system.

Firstly, I do not see how things that happen OUTSIDE of the Ballet class is the Ballet teacher's responsibility. As long as it is outside of the Ballet class, on school property, it's the school's responsibility. How the hell is the Ballet teacher, an external instructor, reliable for such accidents, such that she must see through the entire process? And what? Not teach her students? 

Secondly, the principal is just finding a scapegoat and wanting the matter to clear off. Firing the external instructor was totally uncalled for. It's saddening that schools have come to an age where they are more fearful of parents than parents are of schools. Where's the dignity? It used to be teachers complaining to parents about their children's misbehaviour. Now it's parents scolding teachers.  WHAT?! 

You'd be shocked to know that the father of this girl was the same man who discouraged his daughter a year or two ago from learning Hip Hop (under the same dance programme as Ballet) because it "encouraged Black culture".

From this point I will be scolding this man.

Black culture? What do you even mean? This racist remark speaks for itself and I am ashamed that there are even such people living on this planet. Did your ethnocentrism eat your brain until you became so narrow-minded? Please educate yourself. YouTube, my good sir. If you're saying that by learning Hip Hop dance, your daughter will be absorbed into Hip Hop culture, then you mean that by learning to sew you're going to be a tailor? By wearing a Sari you're an Indian? Yes I'm sure the world works like that. 

Please keep in check your stereotypes because from what I learnt in school, the African American race has come a long way, travelling away from slavery in the South to the North in Harlem, developing their own arts in impoverished and overcrowded streets to fight the discrimination and build their own wealth and status - to move up their class. A class definitely above you.

You limit your daughter's options in learning and God knows what kind of influence you would be on her.

- End of scolding -

While we all harbour our own stereotypes, we shouldn't let them go to the extent of hindering another person's growth. I hope the principal's guilty conscience resonates at her pushing the blame. Someone should sue these lawyers.

"But the rage of travelling is a sympton of a deeper unsoundness affecting the whole intellectual action. The intellect is a vagabond, and our system of education fosters restlessness. Our minds travel when our bodies are forced to stay at home. We imitate; and what is imitation but the travelling of the mind? Our houses are built with foreign taste; our shelves are garnished with foreign ornaments; our opinions, our tastes, our faculties, lean, and follow the Past and the Distant."

- Ralph Waldo Emerson, "Self-Reliance" 

Crazy, Beautiful.

ITM is over after almost the whole year of training with my ITM friends. Feels so weird to be so free mentally and physically. I stayed in bed the whole afternoon and just took my time doing things on my com the whole night. Yes I still have one more paper but haha I'll just start tomorrow. Procrastination prevails!!

Where do I start...

I can honestly say that In The Making has been one of the most significant performances yet. For one, I've met people who are so inspirational, giving and dedicated; people who've given me opportunities and made me really think about what I want to give as a dancer. It was also the first time we've had to take so much ownership of the show, doing our own props, programmes, and making everything happen the way we want it to. My life has changed for real.

Making an impact is the best reward.

That final moment when we stood there, looking out at the audience, them clapping, cheering and some some standing; the pride was incredible.

When people trivialize dance, when people see it simply as a way of passing time, it's sad that they don't understand its power. The therapeutic ability that it carries is something so surreal, yet real, that makes it more than just something we do.

Can't believe this crazy month is coming to an end. 2 major productions, 1 competition and 3 finals papers DOWN. We did it!! 

Siren - The best girls in my world. Forever the most supportive.

Kay!! Role model and inspiration.

Did I already mention that my life has changed? :)

My second mother and Ballet teacher since I was 6.

On a final note,

Never get satisfied. 

Whatever happens, always be humble and take nothing for granted.

"I'm not superstitious, but I am a little stitious."

-  Michael Gary Scott, The Office 

Discontent

I know you shouldn't trust the things you tell yourself late at night because your mind isn't in the right place but right now I really feel like doing something. I mean, SOMETHING. Like set off on a yacht with pillows and a mattress out back and cuddle up and watch the stars and just, float. Or go on a road trip. Or have a new room to decorate. Or sit on the highest point of a city and sing songs. Something that makes me feel... larger than life. Or perhaps minuscule in an infinite universe. Either way, I will still feel that kick; that 'wow'.

Back to reality; it is time for me to sleep. So I will continue my dreams later.



I love irony.

Hey, how's it going up there?

I feel so far away from God.
I don't think I've ever been this inconsistent in my practices. Though part of me is lazy and will give in to the 'mercy' I expect later on, I also feel obligated and guilty that I've been neglecting not only my faith but my friend. At this time in my life I feel like I've been given so so so much; so many opportunities, so much success, people who love and care about me; on top of that I'm also grateful for a reflective mind.

I feel a suppressed indignation sometimes when I come across proclamations on social media of people's sensationalised faith, probably because I was brought up to give my penance privately. Perhaps I feel this way also because I am envious of their possibly legit sense of totality. Gone are the days that I'd so actively participate in churchly activities, prioritising the church youth group over many other things and seeing a goal in being there. Gone are the days I'd listen intently to our youth formators speak of their faith. Gone are the days I'd enthusiastically seek to have a fuller spirit.

I guess I'm taking it all for granted. I owe so much to Him, because even though I stopped being habitual in prayer (which sadly, I cannot remember when), only good things have been coming my way, and this assures me that He is a patient, merciful and ever-giving father. I take so much for granted. And in taking my family and friends for granted, I do not appreciate Him enough. How do I overcome this inertia and regain my hunger for spirituality? This (ironically) I'll need to pray about.