Hey, how's it going up there?

I feel so far away from God.
I don't think I've ever been this inconsistent in my practices. Though part of me is lazy and will give in to the 'mercy' I expect later on, I also feel obligated and guilty that I've been neglecting not only my faith but my friend. At this time in my life I feel like I've been given so so so much; so many opportunities, so much success, people who love and care about me; on top of that I'm also grateful for a reflective mind.

I feel a suppressed indignation sometimes when I come across proclamations on social media of people's sensationalised faith, probably because I was brought up to give my penance privately. Perhaps I feel this way also because I am envious of their possibly legit sense of totality. Gone are the days that I'd so actively participate in churchly activities, prioritising the church youth group over many other things and seeing a goal in being there. Gone are the days I'd listen intently to our youth formators speak of their faith. Gone are the days I'd enthusiastically seek to have a fuller spirit.

I guess I'm taking it all for granted. I owe so much to Him, because even though I stopped being habitual in prayer (which sadly, I cannot remember when), only good things have been coming my way, and this assures me that He is a patient, merciful and ever-giving father. I take so much for granted. And in taking my family and friends for granted, I do not appreciate Him enough. How do I overcome this inertia and regain my hunger for spirituality? This (ironically) I'll need to pray about.