19, 19, 1985

Hi my happy friends!

I am officially nineteen. Firstly and most importantly, I'd like to thank everyone who went out of the way to make me feel special today! I had so many surprises today it's beyond funny :D 

Cue list of surprises:

1. Swing & Stace outside my house at midnight

2. Flowers from beyond the island

3. Siren @ Thai Express

4. Natalie & the balloon

Thank you for every text, Facebook post, call and present! If the aim was to make me feel like I was in the clouds, you guys definitely hit the moon. (Oh so cheesy!)

BUT

I must also explain how Swing and Stace's plan kind of failed.

After midnight, my mom looked out of the curtains and started commenting on observation, 'What are those people across the road doing at this time of night? Some voodoo uh. So strange...' which of course enticed me to take a curious peek. I looked and found the people lining up many many candles, which seemed pretty normal so I said unthinkingly, 'Oh, no, I think it's just a birthday surprise... ...I think it's my birthday surprise,' as the revelation hit and I shut the curtain and went back to minding my own business hahaha. My mom & I continued laughing inside the house and soon enough Stace called me out. FAIL. A bit. 

This is Jason. He treated me to Gong Cha. Nicely played bro. 

Swing looking proud of her art piece.

Chilli crab from last night's dinner with the fam. 

I would put up a picture of dinner with Siren just now but I don't have any, they're all in Marie Lee Shi's camera. It was really awesome by the way! Stacie somehow managed to successfully bring me to sit down at Thai Express because somehow I never ever say no to Thai Express. Then suddenly I hear people singing Happy Birthday to me behind me, across the restaurant. Then I turn & it's the wonderful Siren choir. :D

Now onto my philosophical reflective mode; 

I'm now nineteen. I feel old (no offense to those older than me). Nineteen is one year older than eighteen, one year younger than twenty. (YOU DON'T SAY?!) No but my point is that, I'm older than the stipulated 'legal' age (typically for drinking, driving and clubbing - which means you're already supposed to be pretty responsible) and yet so close to being a 20-something year old. Last year of my teens. I want to forever be a teen. Forever be able to act like an idiot, forever not have to make life-changing decisions and commitments. I want to forever believe that I can become whatever I want to be and not worry about paying bills and being practical. I want to forever be at this age when I can do anything and yet look forward to the major decisions I will have to make, though not having to face them yet. Just having them in sight is good enough. Knowing that I need not face them yet gives me a sense of security where I am now. Growing up sucks. Should've known better as a child. People are never contented. Kids want to be grown ups, elders wish to be youths again. I wish to be seventeen (again). 

What if we were given two lives? The first time we can just explore and know what's good (kinda like a hotel), then the second we'd already know what to do and make each year extremely fruitful. Don't you think we'd be able to do so much more with life this way? Then again, there will be no excitement because you'd know exactly where you're going and how to reach your goals. 

I guess we're all lost and trying to make the best of ourselves. Why so, if we're just gonna die in the end? Probably because it simply makes us happy. :)

Well, right now I have quite a lot to look forward for my 19th year. Going to a new school (I got accepted to NTU by the way!), ITM, more dancing with Siren, I'm sure it's gonna be a really eventful year. Once again, today was really awesome!!

Thank you all for making me so happy!