Challenge Accepted.

With my near future kind of panned out in front of me now, in that I know where I'm going for uni already and what I'm going to study, it brings me back to a decision I made about a year and a half ago because the insecurity of not knowing the consequences is finally gone.

Many people asked me why I chose to take up DAPee (Developing Artiste Programme under Jitterbugs) the same year I was to take my A's. People told me I would die, having to take at least 8 classes per week on top of homework, SYF, Danceworks and rehearsals. Perhaps it looked so when half the time I was sleeping in class. (Heh). Well I found the perfect quote to explain my choice:

"We choose to go to the moon and these other things not because they are easy but because they are hard, because that goal will serve to organize the best of our energies and skills, because that challenge is one that we’re willing to accept, one we are unwilling to postpone and one we intend to win."

- John F. Kennedy, upon issuing the moon-landing mission

That's the best and most appropriate way anyone has ever put it.

I learnt that if you really want something, you have the power to make it happen. Saying that something cannot be done will only be limiting yourself, an excuse not to try hard enough. Last year was my own living proof that I just need to believe in myself to not just get by, but be happy with what I've produced. Yes, it gets extremely tough, tiring and sometimes you question why the hell you work so hard. But last year, after each day of school, CJ Dance, then rushing to Jitterbugs for class till 11pm, when I finally get to shower, I felt as if I've maxed out my day and I used it well. I've fulfilled my role as a student and improved as a dancer each day. SYF Celestial 2010, when we worked our asses off; physical training, praying every day as a team, was also another event that made me realise that by wanting something hard enough (and of course translating that to an equal amount of hard work) you will reap victory. It's also a great reminder to keep all things God-centred because it is in Him that miracles happen.

"Chin up, and we'll drown a little slower."

I hope everyone believes in themselves, no matter what you're doing. Don't be worried because there's no need for it, you're just wasting emotions. Just be organised, face things as they come and you'll be surprised when the event you were worrying about was yesterday. If you meet with failure, just know that you weren't supposed to succeed in that because there's something better out there for you that will make you even happier. Maybe at that point it seems like that's what you really want, but sometimes what you want is misaligned with what you need, and getting what you actually need will satisfy your soul.

19, 19, 1985

Hi my happy friends!

I am officially nineteen. Firstly and most importantly, I'd like to thank everyone who went out of the way to make me feel special today! I had so many surprises today it's beyond funny :D 

Cue list of surprises:

1. Swing & Stace outside my house at midnight

2. Flowers from beyond the island

3. Siren @ Thai Express

4. Natalie & the balloon

Thank you for every text, Facebook post, call and present! If the aim was to make me feel like I was in the clouds, you guys definitely hit the moon. (Oh so cheesy!)

BUT

I must also explain how Swing and Stace's plan kind of failed.

After midnight, my mom looked out of the curtains and started commenting on observation, 'What are those people across the road doing at this time of night? Some voodoo uh. So strange...' which of course enticed me to take a curious peek. I looked and found the people lining up many many candles, which seemed pretty normal so I said unthinkingly, 'Oh, no, I think it's just a birthday surprise... ...I think it's my birthday surprise,' as the revelation hit and I shut the curtain and went back to minding my own business hahaha. My mom & I continued laughing inside the house and soon enough Stace called me out. FAIL. A bit. 

This is Jason. He treated me to Gong Cha. Nicely played bro. 

Swing looking proud of her art piece.

Chilli crab from last night's dinner with the fam. 

I would put up a picture of dinner with Siren just now but I don't have any, they're all in Marie Lee Shi's camera. It was really awesome by the way! Stacie somehow managed to successfully bring me to sit down at Thai Express because somehow I never ever say no to Thai Express. Then suddenly I hear people singing Happy Birthday to me behind me, across the restaurant. Then I turn & it's the wonderful Siren choir. :D

Now onto my philosophical reflective mode; 

I'm now nineteen. I feel old (no offense to those older than me). Nineteen is one year older than eighteen, one year younger than twenty. (YOU DON'T SAY?!) No but my point is that, I'm older than the stipulated 'legal' age (typically for drinking, driving and clubbing - which means you're already supposed to be pretty responsible) and yet so close to being a 20-something year old. Last year of my teens. I want to forever be a teen. Forever be able to act like an idiot, forever not have to make life-changing decisions and commitments. I want to forever believe that I can become whatever I want to be and not worry about paying bills and being practical. I want to forever be at this age when I can do anything and yet look forward to the major decisions I will have to make, though not having to face them yet. Just having them in sight is good enough. Knowing that I need not face them yet gives me a sense of security where I am now. Growing up sucks. Should've known better as a child. People are never contented. Kids want to be grown ups, elders wish to be youths again. I wish to be seventeen (again). 

What if we were given two lives? The first time we can just explore and know what's good (kinda like a hotel), then the second we'd already know what to do and make each year extremely fruitful. Don't you think we'd be able to do so much more with life this way? Then again, there will be no excitement because you'd know exactly where you're going and how to reach your goals. 

I guess we're all lost and trying to make the best of ourselves. Why so, if we're just gonna die in the end? Probably because it simply makes us happy. :)

Well, right now I have quite a lot to look forward for my 19th year. Going to a new school (I got accepted to NTU by the way!), ITM, more dancing with Siren, I'm sure it's gonna be a really eventful year. Once again, today was really awesome!!

Thank you all for making me so happy! 

With age does not necessarily come wisdom.

HI.

On a more irritated note, here's a story I must tell.

So after changing out of my costume, I headed to Popular Bookstore to get new earphones and (impulsively) the first novel of the Hunger Games Thrilogy! Can't wait to read it. Haha.

Yes, so when I headed to the cashier to pay and on observing that previous customers lined up against the counter, I did likewise behind the one person who was making her payment. As I needed to rush back up to catch the 7pm shuttle bus with the Sirengirls, I inched my purchases forward as the lady in front of me was finishing up her payment. Suddenly this other woman (probably around mid-thirties), squeezed her arm through the shoulders of the paying lady(PL) and me and inched her own stack of purchases that were earlier on the edge of the counter, forward. She was standing right behind the paying lady (PL).


Illustration to ease your imagination:

      Cashier      ___
      (PL)   (Me)    (queue goes here>>>)
     (Woman)


Confused as I was, I asked her, "Sorry were you in the the queue?"
Her reply, (and I must say it was in the most impatient and indignant tone. And the most pek chek face), "DEFINITELY YES?!"

Ok chill woman. No big deal. Just go ahead first. So I stepped back. 

That isn't it. After making her payment, she went back to her husband and complained. Being the big brave man that he is, he decided to walk past behind me and say obnoxiously loudly, 'Youngsters these days, you should report her...'

UNCLE. Report to who?! Police? Cut-queue authority?!  Please, be my guest. 

I knew I was short of time, but I was too pissed off to let this slide. After I was done with keeping my change, I walked up to the couple. Ignoring the husband, and standing behind the woman whose back was facing me, I said, "Excuse me, the next time you want to chope a place in the queue, please bother to inform the person behind so that we can avoid any misunderstanding."

Looking up, the woman replied, "Any misunderstanding?! I just walked away for awhile!"

Me: 

Yes, with the hand.

Then I turn and walk out of Popular like 

Without turning back at all.

while the husband is like, "You come back here now!!"

My mom said I should've called her a bitch. But no, I will not stoop to that level and give them more reason to target the people of my generation. 

Joce said that I shouldn't care, they are so old, all need Yu Nam Hair Care. (Rhyme. Hehe)

Okay. So now to the more important points.

1.  If I accidentally cut your queue, don't try to squeeze your arm through to make a point, then wait for me to actually ask you if you're supposed to be in front of me. What's so difficult about just saying, 'Excuse me, I was queueing here.' ????!!! All this tension could've been avoided! Grow some and speak up for yourself instead of using your husband to get back at people. Even better, get back at me for your own discrepancy. EVEN BETTER, not even to my face.
2. Nobody reserves a place in the queue with their things, walks away and expects the next person to telepathy diu diu you and know that that's your place. It does not work the same as a tissue packet. 
3. DO NOT stereotype the youth as an uncourteous, inconsiderate and selfish bunch. Do not blame any bad behaviour on age. Look at yourself. 
4. If I were a middle-aged man taller than you, would you dare to talk loudly behind me, about me?

Before you jump the gun and blame me for my apparent rudeness, please tick off the checklist from your moral compass and see whether you've done what you needed to do to free yourself of any guilt, because honestly, if you hadn't walked away and assumed your place in the queue, you wouldn't have had your afternoon ruined. I didn't do shit.

Basically, I am also very disappointed in the way some people are so quick to link behaviour and age. Yes, I understand the viewpoint that perhaps maturity comes with age, but that doesn't mean you meet one bad egg and that's it for the rest of them. That's beside the point anyway. My point is that despite age and years of experience, sadly, there are people out there who still need to learn to be patient, clarify and be courteous. There is no need to immediately assume that just because I am young, therefore I am rude and want to cut your queue. There's only one of you, cut your queue for what? 

Do not assume, it makes an ass out of u and me. :)

So to all out there who get annoyed easily at the public due to habitual stereotyping, do exercise discernment because half the time, it's a misunderstanding.

To the woman and her husband, may you have all the righteous fun in the world telling your relatives and friends how awful the youngsters these days are.

Peace.

The National Youth Envirolympics Challenge 2012

HI YALL,

I would just like to say a big thank you on behalf of SIREN for coming down to City Sq Mall despite rehearsals/work and other commitments. Thank you for braving the long wait & hyping us up during the performance itself. Thank you to all the ITM peeps - Yong Zhi (who mistook City Sq Mall for United Sq but nonetheless still made it on time!! Cab is a good friend indeed.), Keith, Josh, Steffi, Alex, Jared, Min Ying, Liz (did I miss anyone out? Sorry if I did!), Jewel, Timo, SirenNatie, Jon.

Thank you JANE TOR for inviting us to perform for the event once again. :)

So the performance got pushed more than an hour back due to having to buffer the time for the Guest-of-Honour (GOH) to arrive... SORRY UH. Everyone who had to make sacrifices because of the goh.

The performance itself was not bad! It was awkward when we were trying to sex it up with a vast ocean of children staring up at us, so I shifted my gaze to the nearby alternative option: the GOH & friends. Still weird but at least I'm not giving parents the wrong idea. Or less of it uh. I think it was one of our better runs for this item so well done team! :) WheeWhoo!

Post-show picture! Our shiny foreheads tells of our all out-ness heheh.

It was a good day today. Video soon to be up!

Go green & go grin!

The Green Scene

Hellow my fellows!

This is my first post.

I'm not really sure what to use this blog for but I guess I'll start by talking about my day...

Tomorrow SIREN is performing at the National Youth Envirolympics Challenge 2012 Closing Ceremony. 3.45pm @ City Square Mall. Be there or be circle!

This is the second year in which Siren has been invited to perform for the event. 

Their mission:

To educate youths and the public about the values of leading environmentally friendly lifestyles so as to create a cleaner and greener environment.

Pretty awesome I'd say. Hopefully events like these actually inspire people to change something in their normal lives to help make the situation better; something daily, something concrete. No matter how much we want to deny or postpone it, every day that we use our air-cons, throw barely used paper away, our earth is slowly dying. Singapore is so damn hot. Temperate climates are getting too damn cold. It's quite sad that our weather isn't what it's supposed to be anymore and that animals and possible medical discoveries are lost forever. Islands and cities like Shanghai and Venice are slowly being engulfed by the rising sea levels. Imagine if such wonderful places aren't around for your grandchildren to experience, and I'm sure the list doesn't stop at those two. (Thus the practicality of my group's project work; Underwater living. YEAH.)

I've grown up with 3 major bad habits.

1. Sleeping with air-con every day

2. Wasting paper

3. Throwing out my towel after every shower

In my family's household, the largest ratios of the utility bill comes from the washing machine and the air-conditioning. Both are actually easily controllable but laziness and habitual living are great obstacles. I think I shall start to use less towels now and blast the air-con less (but shiok....:/). Haha, okay, settled. I will do it. If I can do it, so can you! Fellow Siren girl Janice Chye Jang Jang sets a very good example with turning her air-con only like 5 times a year. Perks of living in a high-rise building. I would turn off my lamp when I sleep but I'm afraid of what lurks in the dark... :D

Okay people! If we want to save our home we have to do the small daily things, not just the large gestures of donations and campaigns, but actually inculcating eco-friendly habits into our lifestyle will be the most effective because there is no quick fix. It's simple enough for a kid to do, so you can too!

Hopefully tomorrow's performance will be hyped and bring in the crowds! 

Just us chilling around our music after stage run

Okay, I'm out for now.

Peace.